Black Hair: It's All Mine....I Swear ;-)

I'm sitting at the hair salon under the dryer looking at all the different hair types and styles that we as black women have.  Now every time I get my hair done I prepare myself for the questions that come from ppl who are not privy to all that goes into styling a black woman's hair.  You know:

How did it get so long?  Is that all your hair? Isn't a perm to make your hair curly? Perms make black ppls hair straight, right? (From the person who's feeling him/herself because they know a little something, usually said with a slight grin that says “Yea, I got a few black friends" lol) You've got good hair, why is her hair (pointing to another black girl) always so nappy?

 

Any way I digress....point is while sitting here, I realized how confusing our hair really is. So here are some answers to some of the questions you may have.   And a few terms that are the basics to a black woman's hair.

  

The answers to some of your questions...

• No, we don't wash our hair every day, not even every other day, sometimes not even every week!  Depends on the texture of your hair.  Washing our hair every day will dry it out and the process to wash and style it takes much too long to do every day. 
• No, you can not touch it.  Like I said it's a process to wash and style...unless you know how to do my hair...there's no need to touch it. 
• Yes, it was short yesterday and it's long today...it's called a weave/lace front/extensions etc.
• Grease (hair grease) is a good thing for our hair (in moderation).
• Yes, it's all mine. (This will usually be the answer for one of two reasons; it really is all hers or she paid for it so technically she does own it.) If you have to ask this question, chances are its not all hers.
• Rain, Pools, Beaches, anything with water are a black girls kryptonite. By now you should understand why...if not re-read answer one.
• Yes, I do wrap my hair with a scarf at night. It preserves my hairstyle.

 Hair Terms...

•  Natural (going natural):Wearing her hair in the original state that it grows out of her head (usually means no relaxer/perm; no chemicals)
• Relaxer (Perm): A chemical treatment that STRAIGHTENS her hair. Although “perm" technically means to make hair curly, black women often say this term when she wants her hair relaxed.
• Weave: Fake hair added in with or over her hair.  Tracks can be added in by sewing in to her braided hair , glued on to her scalp, etc.
• Lace Front: Basically a wig.  The front of it is made with sheer lace where it would lay against her hair line.  Adhered to her head with glue
• Extensions: Braids.  Weave/fake hair that is braided in with her hair to make it longer.
• Cornrows: Hair braided in rows, usually braided from front to back, that are attached to head.  They do not hang freely as extensions do. 
• Nappy: Hair that is tough to comb thru, unruly, tangled...if u aint black...I suggest you refrain from using this term.
• Good Hair: Hair that is manageable. However, black ppl say this when someone has long and silky hair resembling a white person's hair.  (Don't use this term either)
• New Growth: When the roots of a woman who has relaxed/permed hair starts to grow in....which would grow in the natural state.

 

Smooches

The Ticking Clock and The Unbaked Bun

Family, friends, and co-workers are popping the big question. “When are you gonna have a baby?”  Even the guy at H&R Block asked how old we were and then proceeded to suggest we, my husband and I, have a child so we can get a larger refund.  

“You’re married, you did it the right way, there’s nothing else to do but have a baby.” “You don’t want to be old when your child graduates high school, do you?” “Have a baby now, when you’re young, so you can still have a life when they are grown.” “You’re getting older; you’re not going to be able to have a baby soon.”   Seriously?! The absurdity of some of these statements blows my mind.

 It seems like everyone is counting down the minutes on my biological clock except for me.  Babies are cute but they’re just not for me….at least not right now. 

I understand the efforts of our friends who are trying to persuade us to have a child so we can have play dates, early dinners, and family vacations together.  Their intentions are good, I think.  However, I do see the moths coming out of their pockets, the bags under their eyes, and what I perceive to be the longing for a fun and irresponsible night without diapers, bottles, and formula in tow.  But they wouldn’t wish that upon us unless there were some undeniable perks to parenthood, right?  

And so the inevitable happened.  We decided to start trying to put a bun in the oven.  We always knew we wanted kids but just never knew when the right time would be.  “Why not now?” we thought.  Soon after we started trying, I lost my job.  We immediately decided that it wasn’t the right time to have a baby.  Everyone around us was either pregnant or already a parent and it is only now, in hindsight, we realize that it was the peer pressure that finally got to us.  I don’t know if I would have actually regretted having a baby but I’m glad that the bun never made it to the oven. 

I’ve made some mistakes in my life and I don’t want a baby to be one of them, especially since it’s a mistake that cannot be undone.   Besides, NO ONE wants to think of their child as a mistake so I am making a plea to all the friends, family, co-workers and whoever else is pressuring someone to have a child, STOP.  Our lives move at their own paces and in their own directions.  My husband and I’s pace cannot be set to your tempo and your path.   

Plus a girl likes to sleep in every once in a while…it becomes quite difficult to do so with a tiny human clamped on to your boob.