The Ticking Clock and The Unbaked Bun

Family, friends, and co-workers are popping the big question. “When are you gonna have a baby?”  Even the guy at H&R Block asked how old we were and then proceeded to suggest we, my husband and I, have a child so we can get a larger refund.  

“You’re married, you did it the right way, there’s nothing else to do but have a baby.” “You don’t want to be old when your child graduates high school, do you?” “Have a baby now, when you’re young, so you can still have a life when they are grown.” “You’re getting older; you’re not going to be able to have a baby soon.”   Seriously?! The absurdity of some of these statements blows my mind.

 It seems like everyone is counting down the minutes on my biological clock except for me.  Babies are cute but they’re just not for me….at least not right now. 

I understand the efforts of our friends who are trying to persuade us to have a child so we can have play dates, early dinners, and family vacations together.  Their intentions are good, I think.  However, I do see the moths coming out of their pockets, the bags under their eyes, and what I perceive to be the longing for a fun and irresponsible night without diapers, bottles, and formula in tow.  But they wouldn’t wish that upon us unless there were some undeniable perks to parenthood, right?  

And so the inevitable happened.  We decided to start trying to put a bun in the oven.  We always knew we wanted kids but just never knew when the right time would be.  “Why not now?” we thought.  Soon after we started trying, I lost my job.  We immediately decided that it wasn’t the right time to have a baby.  Everyone around us was either pregnant or already a parent and it is only now, in hindsight, we realize that it was the peer pressure that finally got to us.  I don’t know if I would have actually regretted having a baby but I’m glad that the bun never made it to the oven. 

I’ve made some mistakes in my life and I don’t want a baby to be one of them, especially since it’s a mistake that cannot be undone.   Besides, NO ONE wants to think of their child as a mistake so I am making a plea to all the friends, family, co-workers and whoever else is pressuring someone to have a child, STOP.  Our lives move at their own paces and in their own directions.  My husband and I’s pace cannot be set to your tempo and your path.   

Plus a girl likes to sleep in every once in a while…it becomes quite difficult to do so with a tiny human clamped on to your boob.